I was responding to my social media comments this morning when I came across a message that floored me. I won’t just tell you about it; I’ll let you read it:
“Hayley, I can’t believe your arrogance. Who are you to talk about how wonderful your life is when so many people are suffering financially? You’re a fake and a fraud. All you care about is money and we all know it.”
Who writes things like this??? How can someone think it’s okay to judge and call someone out, privately OR worse, publically on social media? Other people see these kinds of things and believe them—and they don’t even know me!
Visibility subjects us to scrutiny. It’s no wonder some peeps fear success!!! Even though the majority of the feedback I get is positive, it can be super challenging to read comments like the one above from people who don’t like me and want me to know it.
Sometimes, things like this just make me want to go off the grid. I can CHOOSE to stop; to shrink back into privacy, and sometimes I want to. I won’t, but I can say it hurts—especially when it’s not true.
But you know what?
It’s a consequence of being high profile.
Just like anyone else, I am only human and I make mistakes. The difference is, the more visible you are, the more eyes are watching you make them. Sometimes I feel like people are standing by, waiting for me to fail so they can point fingers and judge. What’s worse is I think it actually gives them satisfaction to watch me fall.
I don’t get that. I am on a mission and here to serve the best I can. And you know what? I’m not going to let fear of judgment impede my success. I will figure out how to thrive in the world I am creating for myself.
Aside from the obvious, success is a good thing, right? If we believe that, why do we hold back?
Well, there’s a difference between wanting success and welcoming it. Peeps who fear success often avoid, deny or reject it when it comes. And it’s not just because they don’t want to be judged.
Dreaming about what could be is easy. But sometimes the closer we get to achieving success, the harder it is to move toward it.
Fear of success and fear of failure are pretty much joined at the hip; two sides of the same coin. Both can produce anxiety and both hold us back from having the things we want in life—if we let them.
A few years ago, if you would’ve asked me if I were apprehensive about success, I would have said, No Way!
Bring it on!
Well, we’ve all heard it before—be careful of what you ask for.
Though I love the direction I’m going and am so grateful for my success, you can see that visibility comes with a price. So does responsibility.
I meet a lot of people who say they want to build a business. They make promises and set goals—some even invest money and then when they start to get close they back off. They miss appointments and let calls go to voicemail. A few disappear altogether. It doesn’t seem to make sense, does it?
It’s not success itself we fear but what might happen if we become successful.
@hayleyhobson (Click to Tweet!)
Two common questions: “Can I handle the responsibility? Do I have what it takes to manage my success?”
And ultimately, behind each of these questions lurks the biggy,
“What if I fail?”
Are you afraid of what success might mean in your life? Do you find yourself backing away from your goals and dreams just when you get close? Fear of success is usually subconscious so you might not even be aware of it.
Success can be scary, no doubt, especially when you think of all the things that might go wrong. We often sabotage the very thing we want most. But those what-ifs are not even real!!! They are figments of our imagination. Total fantasy.
Be willing to learn to trust yourself. Remind yourself EVERY DAY that you have what it takes to hold onto your success and to manage it. What you can’t do on your own, get help with.
Don’t be your own worst enemy. Whenever you feel jittery about how success will change your life, remind yourself of all the good things that come with it: joy, satisfaction, money—all the benefits that await you on the other side.
This is inspirational, Hayley. I'm glad you see the truth within that comment scenario. It helps me to grasp what my own worst fear is- getting a comment like that- and be able to observe a mentor manage it with grace and make it into a teaching moment.
Thanks for the lesson.
Thanks for being authentic with us!
Ms Hobson, I was just trolling the web when I came across your blog. I'm so glad I did. I love the way you turned the negative that poor woman was trying to clear out of her life & turned it into a positive lesson for those who wish to learn. That skill is one I'm currently in the process of developing. I may also be afraid of success, but the first lesson I received from your story was turning a negative into a positive. :0)
This first one I'm reading leaves me wondering about your previous writings. I will be back & look forward to more of your insights.
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