Hayley's Blog

Cut the Drama – Feel the Peace

5/15/2017

I recently made a major decision to take back control of my life. Realizing I have been dealing with an addiction to technology and responding to messages, I came clean.

I outted myself to my friends and followers. It was scary, but it’s important to me to be authentic. We’re only as sick as our secrets, right?

Well, what happened next shocked me.

I thought I was alone in this until I read responses, emails and text messages from peeps dealing with the same thing—and some more addicted than I was. One woman said she wakes up in the middle of the night and grabs her phone to check for messages. Another person said she almost went crazy one day when she left her tablet at home.

I get it.

Seriously, before I made a few changes about three weeks ago, I suffered from super high anxiety every time I received a notification of an email, text or Facebook message. I felt creepy-crawly anxious until I checked or answered. And even though I have been working on this, I still focus daily on managing my anxiety.

I want to say it’s not just an obsession with answering phones or emails that plague many of us – it’s often also an addiction to drama.

By drama I’m referring to ordinary situations we make difficult; ones that would otherwise have a simple solution. We overreact and then relate to the world or our relationships in a way that causes stress and anxiety.

Here’s the irony: we get mad at others for infringing upon us when the truth is WE make ourselves VICTIMS.

Geez! Who wants to live that way 24/7? Not me and I’m pretty sure, not you. So how do you break the cycle and cut the drama?

Take Charge

When it comes to creating drama, I’ll say it again –

You are not a victim unless you allow yourself to be one. @hayleyhobson (Click to Tweet!)

Be the boss of your own life by taking responsibility for what you will and will not allow. Take charge!

Set Boundaries

In my situation, I learned that setting boundaries had a HUGE impact on reducing the anxiety I felt when not responding to my messages. So, I straight out let people know what I needed. I asked them not to message me at night, etc. and then I took charge by setting specific times for checking messages. Did it work? Not with everyone. I still get messages at all hours of the day and night, but I choose when to respond.

Make Healthy Choices

Now, here’s where a lot of us, especially women, have issues. We don’t want to hurt people’s feelings. Hear me when I say, we are NOT responsible for others’ feelings. That doesn’t mean we intentionally hurt others, it just means we allow them to take responsibility for themselves. It’s not our job.

I’m not going to tell you the changes I made were immediate. At first, I felt horrible anxiety honoring my own boundaries and I still give in now and then. But it’s a process and my life is so much better than it was. Every day it gets easier.

Does DRAMA have a chokehold on you? Take a look at your life. Are you happy? Stressed? What would you like to change? Whatever it is, remember you are in control. Change it!

Your reward will be peace.



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