Venting vs. Advice: The #1 Way to Be Heard the Way You Want

Ok I have a really JUICY story for ya today.

And it involves a challenging conversation with my husband.

SHHHH don’t tell him.JK, he gave his blessing for me to share.

But before we get into that, I have a big announcement!

The Whole You podcast JUST passed 270 THOUSAND downloads!

I mean… WOW.

When I started this a few years ago, I had NO idea it would ever reach these levels.

So thank YOU for helping me achieve this MEGA huge accomplishment.

And while we’re in housekeeping mode, I wanna invite you to my friend Amy Porterfield’s online training coming up next week.

You guys, I am SO excited for this. 

I know you may have heard from her in the live interview I did with her last week.  

But this is such a HOT topic RN. She’s created an entire training around it. And if I know her at all, she’s got plenty to share. 

It’s called How to Recession-Proof Your Business with One Digital Course: 5 Strategies to Create & Launch a Profitable Digital Course from Scratch.

If you did attend my live online event with her last week, her training builds upon that in a really deep and experiential way.

Who knows, maybe she was inspired by our convo.  Wink wink.

And if you didn’t attend last week… lemme tell ya… a digital mini-course literally revolutionized my biz when I first did it a few years ago.

‘Cause I was able to package up everything I was doing… teaching… and sharing 1:1 or in small groups…

And put into a little mini-course I called Social Downline which I could offer over and over and over again.

And not only did I get a fast cash-injection into my biz the very first time I launched it… it added THOUSANDS of people to my email list.

Many of whom are still in my biz today.

And when I relaunched Social Downline following Amy’s advice… I doubled my money.

So I was even more profitable… AND I was able to help WAYYYYY more people – with ONE mini-course.

That I created ONE time using knowledge I already had and was using in my biz in other ways.

So if the idea of a fast cash injection AND an email exploding tool you can use over and over again sounds awesome to you…

Definitely sign up for Amy’s training. 

It’s FREE and runs from September 7th to the 11th.

She’s made such a difference in my biz – and therefore my LIFE – that I asked to help promote her training for her.

And she gave me a personal link to share with you.

You’ll get in free to her training: How to Recession-Proof Your Business with One Digital Course by going to

Or by commenting AMYP on my Facebook or IG posts. That’s A-M-Y and the letter P.

I’ll be there… and hope you will too.

Ok, so you’ve been very patient.

I shared a little bit of this story on my Facebook Live… but it hit such a nerve with people that I wanted to go deeper here.

So a few days ago, there was a situation with my husband.

He had gotten a text from someone and it bothered him.

So, he asked me if he could read it to me.

And apparently I didn’t give him the reaction he was looking for.

I think that he wanted me to side with him… to buy into his story, his interpretation of what was going on his mind related to that end of the text message. 

Well, instead I asked, “Would you like my feedback?”My intention was to help him show up in a way where he understood how this other person was feeling. 

He said yes.  And so I shared.

And then he got pissed at me. And didn't want to talk to me. And then he walked away. 

So I guess he didn't really want my feedback after all. 

I’ll be honest… this situation bothered me because it did NOT go at all the way either of us expected.

I mean, we weren't in a fight or anything but I’ll admit, I was a little blindsided.

Like, what the hell just happened?

So I gave him some space… 

And then went up to him and asked, “How did you receive that? What was it that you wanted out of me at that time?”

And he's like, I just wanted to vent. 

I mean LIGHTBULB. Hellooooooo!

Once he said that, I got it.

I saw my mistake.

And so I wanna give you a little quick piece of advice on this. 

Because I feel like we ALL have been in this situation before.

Before you chime in with your two cents on a situation… ask what THEIR intention is for sharing it?

Like, do you just need to vent? Or are you looking for my feedback?

And yes, even though I did ask Wes if he wanted my feedback – we both made assumptions about what that feedback would look like.

What he REALLY wanted was for me to side with him.

To use my ears, and not my mouth.

He wanted to vent.

Or purge as I like to call it.

This goes for you too.

If you wanna get something off your chest, let the other person know that up front.

Like, “Can you please hold the bucket so I can word vomit in it?”

LOL, just let it out. 

Clarifying this intention works WONDERS.

Has this ever happened to you?

Something annoying happens and you unleash it on your partner… and he/she starts going into fix-it mode instead of supportive listener mode.

It’s annoying AF, right?

Like, you usually feel worse.

Or turn your annoyance on THEM.

When you don’t communicate your intention – and you get a response you aren’t actually open to – it can actually cause MORE stress.

Amplifying those stress-driven, triggering emotions even MORE.

However, when you communicate your intention in advance, maybe by saying “Honey, do you mind if I vent to you for like, three minutes?”

You are much more likely to get your desired result.

Now, I get that this can be hard. Especially when you’re all fired up and in the moment.

But becoming CONSCIOUS of your emotions AND your intention is actually a very healthy move.

And it’s more likely to release the stress in a way that feels actually GOOD to you.

BTW, yes, we’re fine now. Like I said, we weren’t in a real fight.

We talked it out and realized where our miscommunication came from. 

And we’re both committed to being more intentional going forward.

Always a work in process, my friends. LOL

We all carry these thoughts and feelings we need to purge every now and then.

In fact, it’s actually healthy to do… if you do it in a conscious way.

If you’ve ever read The Artist’s Way by Julia Cameron then you’ve heard about “Morning Pages”.

The idea is that first thing in the morning, you purge out all your thoughts.

She says that it’s like getting the sludge out.

And you’re to write three pages, stream of consciousness, every single morning.

To get those vomity words out.

So you’re clear. And they don’t stay with you all day.

And if you and your business NEED a revamp… or an energy boost… or a fast cash injection or email list jumpstart…

I would highly recommend a purge. Get any vomity words out – any negativity you hold about growing or investing in your biz...

And THEN, come to Amy Porterfield’s training next week.

Again, it’s called How to Recession-Proof Your Business with One Digital Course – and there are multiple class times you can choose from between September 7th and the 11th.

You’re going to discover the 5 Strategies to Create & Launch a Profitable Digital Course from Scratch.

I know this might sound daunting. Or overwhelming.

But it’s incredibly simple.

I’ve created multiple online mini-courses on my own… and while I made A TON of mistakes in the very beginning…

I can tell ya from direct experience… it wasn’t hard.

I was able to do it fast. Without spending a bunch of money. Or technology.

I literally used my computer and phone.

And wrote down all the steps I did to get where I am right now in my biz…

And did it myself.

But – once I applied what Amy taught me… and what she’s gonna teach YOU in her training –

I doubled my results. And exploded my email list.

Simply by packaging up what I was already doing in my biz… and putting it into this mini-course format. 

Plus launching it online by following Amy’s blueprint.

Her event is FREE – and she gave me this personal link for you to use. So she knows you came through me and can treat ya extra special nice. LOL

The place to get your pass is

Or just respond to any of my social posts on IG or Facebook with the word AMYP (A-M-Y and the letter P). All one word.

That’s it for me, my friends.

Please bring this advice vs venting concept into your own life… and I can promise ya…

Your relationships – and stress levels – will be better for it.

I’ll see ya online.